“Have you ever said no to something you actually wanted to do because you were too nervous?” asked Kirsty Hulse, the Founder and Managing Director of Roar! Training at our LOVE INBOUND event. Surprisingly this was answered with a room full of raised hands. If you’ve ever felt this way, then keep reading.
This year, Kirsty focused on confidence and how the lack of it often impacts our growth both in business and our personal lives. But what does ‘being confident’ really mean? Watch the video below to find out.
Kirsty also asked the crowd to put their hands up if they've ever held back from sharing an idea in a meeting because they thought it was ‘stupid’. It turns out that a lot of people in the crowd have felt this way at one time or another.
A staggering 96% of people Kirsty surveyed said they’ve turned down opportunities they wanted to do because they were too nervous. Kirsty states the reason for this is often confidence or, more so, the lack of it, but she explains that the way we see confidence is broken.
So, how can we feel confident? How can we feel our ideas have value, feel confident to speak up in meetings and feel safer and more comfortable in groups?
“Most of us worry we’re a bit shit,” Kirsty explained, reassuring the crowd that we’ve all felt like we aren’t good enough at one point in our lives. “We need a new definition of confidence. We need clarity as to what that even means in inclusive workplaces," she continued.
The real definition
She then explained that there isn't a ‘right way’ to be confident because confidence isn't something we are. It's something we feel. There are no rules to confidence or when and where we should feel it. Kirsty proclaimed that “YOU 👏 ARE 👏 ALREADY 👏 CONFIDENT 👏” and “it's not YOU that's failing” it’s our definition of what confidence looks like that’s flawed.
Here are some key takeaways from Kirsty’s talk on confidence that really resonated with us:
- EVERYBODY is confident and confidence is simply YOU being a bit more YOU
- Confidence isn’t binary. Nerves aren’t something we have instead of confidence. Nerves are something we have AS WELL as confidence
- Business language such as ‘winning clients’ or ‘strategy & tactics’ come from military language; on some level, we have internalised this to mean we're against each other
- Ultimately most people are nice people. We aren't enemies. We're a community and the more we continue judging others, the more we'll continue to judge ourselves
This is only a small amount of the inspiring words that Kirsty brought to the stage. To see the full rundown on how you can feel more confident, take risks and get more done — press play on the video above.
After playing this video, why not listen to the talks of our other stellar speakers?